Tuesday, 20 March 2012

David Cameron: time to grow some facial hair?

A leading expert's prediction of how the RH David Cameron MP would appear with whiskers

It's a sad day for Parliament. In days gone by connoisseurs of fine facial hair were treated to some excellent examples of how to groom one's face. The great William Gladstone for example was in possession of a proud pair of mutton chops that gave him an powerful and authoritative look. Or General George Colley, whose mighty jowl adornments would have been sure to strike fear into the hearts of his foes. At this point the British Empire was at its largest extent and had reached what many believe to be its cultural peak. We hazard to ask a question; was this more than a coincidence?

Today we are surrounded with hordes of clean shaven politicians. The three major party leaders can barely muster a mug full of stubble between them and a moustache is a rare sight in the House of Commons (although Anne Widdecome does assist in keeping the quota up). At the time of writing Britain is being economically pummelled, we face huge levels of national debt and our armed forces are a mess, all of which have been increasingly growing problems which without a doubt correlate with a drop in male facial hair. Moustache strainer sales are at an all time low and so is Great Britain's credit rating. What we here at Gentlemen's Relish suggest is this; David Cameron, grow some mutton chops, George Osborne, grow a Van Dyke and Nick Clegg, for God's sake, grow some balls!

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