Sunday, 25 March 2012

The Gentleman's Spring Wardrobe

As many young gentlemen about town are fully aware, life is full of difficult decisions. Taylor's or Graham's? Moet or Krug? Monaco or Cannes? These are just some of the devilish dilemmas that the latter day gent must deal with on a literally day to day basis. However, there is one question which towers above all the rest to all self respecting modern men, and it is as follows: what the bally hell shall I wear today?!?!?

Alas, never fear! We here are the Relish are on hand to guide you through the sartorial minefield, starting with our first offering - The Gentleman's Spring Wardrobe. Listed below are but a few examples of what we at the Relish believe to epitomise the essential look this season.

We begin with a hat. Until recently hats had been somewhat neglected by the international fashion community, relegated from their status as the sine qua non of the wardrobe. In the past few years, however, the hat has gone from strength to strength. Variously championed by fedora'd film stars and hipsters alike, the hat is now back where it should be: on top. And what better hat to sport this Spring than the fez. Yes, to quote everyone's favourite time travelling physician, fez's are cool. Just look at this chap here. Look at how cool he is. Look at how happy he (probably) is. That could be you.

Next comes the upper body, and with it the jacket. Fortunately for us this is a relatively simply choice. A staple of Gents from ages past, the vintage velvet smoking jacket seems to us here at the Relish to be the perfect accompaniment to the fez. That the wearing of a smoking jacket should be restricted to quiet nights in with one's friends, or worse yet, to the pages of a P.G. Wodehouse novel, seems to us an absolute travesty. After all, not often does just one item of clothing seem to encapsulate such a wide variety of qualities, from unparalleled comfort to peerless suavity. As such, we at the Relish are making it our mission to put the jacket where it belongs: at the forefront of everyday clothing. And if you needed any more more persuasion, take a glance at the fellow on the left and ponder upon the potential rewards that the jacket can bring.

Our third and final offering deals with the trouser department. Now we struggled for a long time to think of some suitable pantalons d'excellence which would be able to complete our Spring look, but in the end, we're fairly sure that we came up with a cracker. The answer came late one night, as I dozed upon the chaise longue and waited for the sweet tedium of the PGA tour to carry me off to the land of nod. All of a sudden, there they were in front of me. It was so obvious, how could I have been so stupid?!

Tartan trousers, of course! So much range, so many choices! Blue, green, red, the list is literally endless! Yes, tartan trousers are the perfect celtic twist to finish off our collection, with just a hint of a nod to sporting athleticism, too.

So that concludes our Spring Wardrobe. We hope that you have found it instructive, or at the very least entertaining. Until next time, chaps, keep your Fez's held high, and your smoking jackets delinted.

Friday, 23 March 2012

Monocles: The forgotten eyewear?


I'm going to give you a challenge. Think hard, and try and remember the last time you saw a fellow gentleman sport a monocle. Can't think? My point exactly. The monocle, in my book, is in its last death throes as a piece of eyewear. These days the trend is all for bionocles, or glasses if you will, and these dual lensed contraptions are quickly becoming dominant over British gentlefolk's faces. Take for instance, this gentleman. Not only does he have excellent taste in lapels but his monocle forms a useful piece of equipment. When handed with a breathtaking piece of news he can be easily supplied with a superb squint of disbelief, courtesy of his monocle. Say he is handed a diamond or some other precious stone, the monocle comes to the rescue! The monocle can serve some other lesser uses as well. Take for instance, a gentleman who is short sighted in just one eye. Under the modern trend of spectacle wearing he would have his face and nose overburdened by cumbersome frame work, the monocle solves all this and more. For those looking to cultivate strong eyebrows, the exertion required to hold said eyepiece in position can be of great use.

Of course, the image of the monocle is one that has come under recent scrutiny. For too long the monocle has been associated with evil wartime Jerrys, such as this cretinous example. For a start, the wrinkle marks that adorn his face indicate bad monocle wearing practice, as it is a well known fact that the wearing of a monocle strengthens one's jaw and gives one a handsome, dashing look. Indeed poor monocle wearing is a practice that is sadly too great in the current monocle wearing classes and is one that we must address at a later date. So the solution that I give, gentlemen of Britain, head to your nearest optician, scorn the spectacle and seize yourself a monocle and once again we will prepared to address any situation that urgently requires the use of one eye, and one eye only. If it was good enough for Tennyson it's good enough for us!

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

David Cameron: time to grow some facial hair?

A leading expert's prediction of how the RH David Cameron MP would appear with whiskers

It's a sad day for Parliament. In days gone by connoisseurs of fine facial hair were treated to some excellent examples of how to groom one's face. The great William Gladstone for example was in possession of a proud pair of mutton chops that gave him an powerful and authoritative look. Or General George Colley, whose mighty jowl adornments would have been sure to strike fear into the hearts of his foes. At this point the British Empire was at its largest extent and had reached what many believe to be its cultural peak. We hazard to ask a question; was this more than a coincidence?

Today we are surrounded with hordes of clean shaven politicians. The three major party leaders can barely muster a mug full of stubble between them and a moustache is a rare sight in the House of Commons (although Anne Widdecome does assist in keeping the quota up). At the time of writing Britain is being economically pummelled, we face huge levels of national debt and our armed forces are a mess, all of which have been increasingly growing problems which without a doubt correlate with a drop in male facial hair. Moustache strainer sales are at an all time low and so is Great Britain's credit rating. What we here at Gentlemen's Relish suggest is this; David Cameron, grow some mutton chops, George Osborne, grow a Van Dyke and Nick Clegg, for God's sake, grow some balls!

A very, very warm welcome.

Good evening,

We would like to wish you a warm, warm welcome to the brand new blog home of Gentlemen's Relish. We hope that over the coming years you will come to feel as comfortable here as we do. Feel free to browse our many articles, use our mirror to groom your moustachios and to help yourself to the fine Turkish (but try not to get ash on the carpet!). We'll be here to invite you to our merry bunch any time of the year, be it Christmas, your grandmother's birthday or International Cravat Day. Here at Gentlemen's Relish, we literally relish in the finer things of life! Soon, the site will be verily buzzing with tales and commentaries on neckwear, pipes and cigars, fine food and drink and various suitable sporting hobbies for young gentlemen to indulge in. And so, without further ado, it's time for us to shove off and leave you to enjoy the site.

Bibo ergo sum, gentlemen (and don't forget to add us on @gentlerelish).